This is a Process.... I am a Progress

        It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I started back at school for summer quarter two Mondays ago, so yeah I've been busy with that! My professors wasted no time with the assignment overload... so I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed with all I have to do, I won't lie. I'm really in need of a vacation, some kind of get away, I just want to relax, you know, have some fun and not have to worry for a while, just a little while...but right now that seems like wishful thinking.

        I feel like that's all I ever do now a days, worry! o_O ....I try to let go...and let god and to stop focusing on the negativity or problems I face, but I don't know, it's really hard sometimes. Just not being in a place I want to be or thought I would be by now, not having what I really want or need, struggling! And I know I'm not the only one that goes through things, that's expected in life, you have to go through things, be down before you can go up, and all that stuff people like to say, but that doesn't take away from what I feel.

        I put on a front like I'm good sometimes... you ask me if I'm okay, and I might say yeah, even when I'm not. Some people pretend to care anyways, most likely just want to be nosy, and I'm not for that pseudo-phony mess. I build up walls over 10ft tall to stay guarded......

        I'm thankful and grateful though, don't get me wrong, I count my blessings daily, because I know things could be much worse, and while somedays I may feel bad, I know there might be 10 million people who feel worse, so why should I complain? Things might not be how I feel they should be right now, but with patience (something I struggle to have at times lol) I'll get there and things will get better, it takes time.

      So while I wait patiently.....I'll continue to work on me, to be more positive and to set and achieve my goals, one by one. I have to atleast try....in order to succeed.
         I just hope to remember that..... this is a process.... and I am a progress! =)